so how is it that one single boy can just step inside the door and change everything. I had it all worked out and then he had to come and mess it all up. He made me question what I was doing right now. I have waited months for the one I "love" to get home from his place, and when I talked to him today - I had nothing to say. We were going to get married one day.. but geez idk now. I thought I loved him, but could one night change that? I wish I knew.  He told me I could do so much better, but he has yet to find a replacement - if only he knew that I wanted him. I wonder if he feels the same way? maybe he is scared of what could happen... I know I sure am. I hate this feeling though of uncertainity. I just wish I could see him again to know if not being with him is what I want. It has been so long I can barely remember. I know that when he held me in his arms I loved it and never wanted him to let me go. The other night, I experienced the same thing... just being next to him feels so right - I could've stayed there all night. Why did he have to come and add to my already miserable situation. I wish I didn't like him as much as I did or maybe I wish he liked me? gosh who knows. this is so confusing.....Why can't I just have them all?